Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Further Tales of Child Abuse From One Nation Under God

I think the moral to this post, apart from not abusing your kids by cladding them in Armor of God Pajamas is, don't start opening old links when you are trying to have a clear out. Plus a little altruism on my behalf, that I might avert a colleague sinking in to the abyss and subsequently preventing him from opening his veins with a blunt spoon. But that's another story entirely.

I have in the past featured this fine example of American astronomic abuse, the post seems a tad elusive for the moment, but I shall track the rascal down given a little time.

Bad enough that any parent should lever their kids at all into pyjamas preposterous as these, but spare a thought for the poor little buggers were it ever to become common knowledge among their peers that, "he wears Armor of God jimjams." (and doesn't he look a proper sad bastard in 'em) Spare a thought indeed, because as we all know, Mummy's and Daddy's little darlings can be 'orribly cruel little bleeders when they have a mind to be. Putting it somewhat mildly.

So a little fashion show then, courtesy of the batshit crazy Fundamentalist Christian Right of Ameriki.

The whole Armor of God Pajama set will help your children to depend on God to protect them from their fears, doubts, and uncertainties at night so their sleep can be restful and peaceful.

Although we are a new company, our desire is to grow
into a well-known Christian Organization whose main goal is to reach as many children as possible by providing the Word of God, offering top quality products and excellent customer service along with offering parents the means and support to help their children grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

And what fundi parent could resist seeing the next generation of Jesus warriors attired so? Funny then, that the website should no longer be available, bankrupt? surely not; raptured perchance?

I had a few randomly chosen sites that I intended leaving links for, but on reflection, perhaps not. Just the the two then, and both irresistible. The first one chosen for... well it's pretty obvious really.

 Man with a muck rake:
Surely, every born-again and oh-so righteous family will want to clothe their children in the Armor of God 24/7 so that ‘S’ and secular humanists as well as atheists and communists do not lead them down the pathways of sinfulness.

But wait! That’s not all. For every set of PJ’s well throw in a coupon for 25% off of our exclusive KKK ceremonial, demonstration and cross-burning outfits. When Robbie gets older, he can wear real men’s clothing that will remind him of his younger days and nights, in the Armor of God pajamas. Man with a muck rake

What words might I choose to describe our second featured site? A goldmine? Yes, that will do, a goldmine.

I originally thought this fellow was taking the piss, well you would, wouldn't you.

I can't find words for general content in this, but towards the end? Just give me a minute. Here you go, I knew I had it somewhere.


Jay Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of irony. "It was weird," Fullmer said. "I was in London and, like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather, eh?" and I thought "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather." Fullmer then realised that the other man’s "mistake" was in fact deliberate. Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use irony himself in future. "I’m, like, using it all the time," he said. "Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them to shit and I said "Hey, great weather!".

And the same site bringing us these two gems.

Only in Ameriki folks, only in Ameriki.

From this day forward it's gonna be

Bob Blog Goldmine



Anonymous said...


Himself said...

Bad link.

Anonymous said...


Himself said...

Thank you, I passed it on to the relative department. (person)

I have to say though Maren, the total ignorance of these godly fuckers never fails to amaze me.

You could well imagine what kind of life you might have living in such a community if you were gay or atheist or both.

Never forgetting of course, that a great majority of these good Christian men would be armed to the teeth.

And the kids! I guess you can write them off by the time they're five.

Anonymous said...

You could well imagine what kind of life you might have living in such a community if you were gay or atheist or both.

or a printed shirt wearer ...