Monday, March 19, 2007

The Dangerous Deception Of "Dubya"

Inarticulate, dumb, fumbling. lazy, failed, ignorant, unworldly, under qualified, not a ticket you would choose to run on for the most responsible job in the world. Whether he ran on that ticket I do not know, when he did his running it was during my dropped out period, when the ways of the world meant nothing to me and I cared even less.

But ran he did and somehow managed to get elected, (yes I know, let's not go there) in spite of his more apparent shortcomings. Those with much more political savy than Bush could ever have, no doubt turning these shortcomings into political gain.

Just a simple boy from down home, inexperienced therefore uncorrupted man of the people, just what America needs, a god fearing dumbfuck President for a bunch of god fearing dumbfuck voters.

And how it worked, as millions upon millions associated with him and aligned themselves with him, "There's no harm in Gee Dubya, just a good ol' boy," and so was elected the dumbest, meanest, most under qualified, most dangerous President ever to sit his sorry arse in the White House.

And it worked so well, that no matter the amount of scorn or ridicule that rained down on this abject failure, he was forgiven. That he couldn't string a coherent sentence together or that his IQ was so obviously lacking, he was forgiven, in fact you could say he got away with murder, ho ho de fucking ho.

And to those of us who knew better, and I say us, for I am as guilty as others, we joined the chorus and took the easy route, almost an endorsement of the man and his policies really, instead of addressing matters with the gravity that they warranted,we just poured more ridicule on him as he and his bunch pursued their deadly agenda, no doubt laughing away quietly, as the ridicule ran, as did the proverbial water, from the backs of both ducks and men.

Having said this I hope you can still find some little humour in these Dubya and other American pol limericks. As I mentioned previously they fell with ease from the pen and none taking more than a minute or two to compile, whether they are any good or not is for you to judge and not I.
Most, if not all written in haste in replies to contemporary topics.

There are more featuring other pols and events, but for now, these.

All his life he's suffered affliction,
Such a looser, reads like bad fiction.
With all this power,
Should be "Man of the hour"
Somebody help him with his diction.

A halfwit did so aspire,
To positions lofty and higher.
The press sounding glum,
“We backed someone dumb”
Who would have thought such a liar.

I am a man of no great stature,
Diebold did the country capture.
Times were great,
In lone star state.
A nuke or two then the rapture.

President number forty three,
Part the job foreign policy.
Condi give me a lesson,
So I'm not guessin.
Just where all these countries be.

Georgie Porgie pudding 'n pie,
Told the voters one big lie.
Swallowed whole by the trolls,
Now he's tanking in the polls.
Three more years collective sigh.

To those that swallow his credo,
Albeit his IQ is zero.
I have to say,
In my limerick today.
Don't make a half-wit your hero.

Whitehouse crimes are almost blase,
Standards and morals in total decay.
Your presidency's flawed,
Don't go abroad.
You could end up like Pinochet.

For war how he hungered and lust,
Now it’s all turning to dust.
Gas so high,
Don’t look to the sky.
Not even in God can you trust.

A captain is no ordinary seaman,
He’s learned and adept for a reason.
To safely navigate,
The great ship of state.
But Dub, in hurricane season.?

Truthiness showed it's face today,
Must have soured the creme brulee.
Far from happy,
The President chappy.
Colbert you're next for Gitmo Bay.

Old gee dub gonna keep y'all secure,
Same old line you have to endure.
Forget the spin,
You're easy in.
When you're an active gay male whore.

You can't toot rocks says old Dubya Bush,
Better hit after credit card crush.
Must have order,
Fence the border.
Stay at home like my friend Rush.

Hey George you d man,
Can't do it? yes he can.
On this runaway train,
What can we gain.
Such fun, let's nuke Iran.

Much talk of truth has been said,
And fishes that rot from the head.
But makes me do wonder,
The words of boy blunder.
Could he lie straight in his bed.

For five long years he's been having his say,
From course once set he'll never stray.
Don't panic,
On Titanic.
"Hey there iceberg get outa my way."

Come back Napoleon Bonaparte,
In all the wars you did start.
You led from the front,
It weren’t no stunt.
That’s the message to impart.

Additions.

What a state the country's in,
Whitehouse bullshit wearing thin.
So we must,
In pardons trust.
One for you and one for him.

Tricky Dicky to Gerald said,
Be VP it's serious bread.
Just one favour,
Might need a saviour.
No problem, lets go ahead.

Do not fear so much to die,
When it comes one big sigh.
All I can say,
Won't be today.
The rapture's coming bye and bye.

There’s certain kind of fundie says you gotta abstinate,
Others chuck rocks if you find a little playmate.
When all said and done,
These religions can’t be fun.
If she wants to put out don’t hesitate.

(Leiberman)
In backing the war and its slaughters,
Joe ain’t doing what he ought to.
Like some two bit whore,
Of that you’re sure.
Just look at his sackful of quarters.

A Senator named Russ Fiengold,
Argued that truth be told.
From colleagues, scant backing,
Seems backbones are lacking.
Russ, you're out in the cold.

A Whitehouse aid named Scooter,
Did dastardly deeds for a shooter.
Outing an agent named Plame,
Got stuck with the blame.
Pity it wasn’t Anne Coulter.

Down the Straits of Hormuz,
Oil tankers perilous do cruise.
Should one get a rocket and sink,
Then problems abound me do think.
Dub, are you still on the booze?

Neocons have most surely,
Run the gov extremely poorly.
Better fun,
If they could run.
A piss up in a brewery.

Neocondi for VP,
What a site that would be.
It would be nice,
If little miss Rice.
Had a touch of diplomacy.

How easy the words would come over,
To rhyme and joke about Rover.
Better words I just might,
Scribble down and write.
After all, if Dub can get sober!

Well Karl what’s it to be,
Obstruction of justice or perjury.
Has shafting mizz Plame ,
Ended your game?
Bit of a shame national, security.

Double super secret girl called Plame,
Nobody ever heard her name.
Words from Rover,
Career over.
Nuclear intel down the drain.

Hurry up Armageddon,
Then I get my suit of lead on.
My spuds will grow.
With internal glow.
Serve up well with some gammon

Evil will not have the final say,
Let us all to god now pray.
I thought that you might,
Come down and smite.
Guess you're having a merciful day.

So much clamour he be put to the sword,
A lifetime sentence says the rest of the horde.
His sentence be,
If up to me.
I’d get him a crib in the lower ninth ward.

Can't get enough of corruption and graft,
Does my flying on private aircraft.
This here bill,
Keeps things still.
A fine example of our statecraft.

What's an honest dissenter to do.
Hail to King George but can't say boo.
Senate repent,
Remember Kent.
Patriot vanguard ACLU.

When I see or read or hear,
Folks all a quaking like frightened deer.
Government spin,
Has sucked you in.
Right where they want you, a climate of fear.

To make predictions is full of pitfalls,
Will it be sunny or will it be squalls.
Hard to predict,
A simple verdict.
That's why gypsies have glass balls.

Heartthrob Fitz is close to deciding,
Rover's neck is on this riding.
Fitz take care,
Of Gov. beware.
Accidents happen when hang gliding.

Young Stevey Colbert says he's a soaring,
All us Libs laughing and a roaring.
Poor trolls,
See the polls.
Red Alert tomorrow morning.

I’ve been reading your blog Sir, for the left such hate,
And of WMDs and the reasons you state.
That they were not found,
All scattered around.
The Coalition of Willing got there too late.

Tweety my nerves are on edge, how you do them grate
The way of the lapdog is normally castrate.
Your sweetheart is tanking
Will this stop you wanking
Or forever and ever will you yearn to felate.

Hardball is a big misnomer,
Tweety is a Whitehouse gofer.
One look at George Bush,
On knees he do rush.
Oh daddy let me play with your big soldier.

Patrick Fitzgerald please hurry on,
Haste is indecent but we pray bring it on.
Efforts of years,
Might end in tears.
If you get upstaged by Armageddon.

Can’t stand Joe Scarborogh makes me wanna puke,
Rare as a unicorn gave the prez rebuke.
Maybe he’s nervous,
About phone service.
Somebody listening maybe a spook.

The net is closing and the trap it narrows,
What's it to be Karl, jail or gallows.
Fritz I do implore,
Let me settle for.
A ball a chain and a few broad arrows.

Having all power is omnipotence,
That’s a fact there’s no pretence.
Another fact is you so depress
Because you don’t possess,
The tiniest hint of competence.

The aim of five lines is to come across witty,
But for place named after, some small pity.
Would I lie to you,
It really is true.
Limerick town is known as Stab City.

Everything I touch is doomed to fail,
Like Python's Circus looking for the grail.
We need a decoy,
The Guard deploy.
Or polish up the gun and go shoot some quail.

Ernie Fletcher was the protégé,
Of soon to be pariah Tom DeLay.
To the judge a request,
On their behest.
Adjoining cells, you really don’t say.

Little Tommy Tucker spins for his supper,
All the while trying the dems to scupper.
I wish he would stop,
And his balls do drop.
Then transition to manhood buy a hot hooker.

Little Tucker Carlson wears a bow tie,
Sartorial elegance not in my eye.
Fervent wish of mine,
Insert where no sunshine.
Then little Tucker no more can lie.

When I see that bloody bow tie,
Blood pressure rises far too high.
Little insufferable prick,
Sliming up my limerick.
It’s enough to make a grown man cry.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAA!
Cute, very cute. HH

Anonymous said...

I have for years lived by this motto: When you find yourself confronting a dumbfuck, be nice, for when dumbfucks inherit the earth the dumbfuck in front of you may be the dumbfuck in charge.

OT–Thanx for the cross-post above. Regards, Bill

Cletis said...

Himself, why the hell did you stop writing limericks? These are great. I'm thinking, you know, there are some great blog posts langushing in dusty vaults around the blogosphere. Would you allow me to launch Retro Friday at my place with this post? Just thought of it and I like the idea. Let me know and I'll start this Friday.

Himself said...

You work away dear boy, help yourself, celebrate the true spirit of the internet, free access to all.

I have some more tucked away somewhere, I shall dig them out on the morrow and sort through them.

H