Saturday, November 06, 2010

A Tale of Two Twats

This is a re-up of sorts from 2007. The difference between then and now is I have rediscovered the entire text, with a little help from a friend I have to add. That first text disappearing rather rapidly soon after the author became aware of my feelings for himself, his hunting and his twisted American psyche, to say nothing of his god-damned prayers to his undoubtedly American god.

It always irked me that the letter was pulled by this arsehole who had written to his fellow arseholes at some arsehole of a hunting magazine or other, but that is now rectified, it's here in full. Praise the Lord.

God Listens to Hunters' Prayers
By Guy D. Lawson

I was born in West Virginia, where hunting is the big sport of about everybody, therefore, I have hunted squirrels, rabbits, pheasants, bears and deer most of my life. Due to my health, I have limited myself to deer only for the past 10 to 15 years because of asthma, emphysema and bronchitis. I have trouble field-dressing, and pulling a deer very far.

My hunting partner, who is also my son-in-law, Gary Edwards, hunt on his father's farm, which is in Licking County, Ohio.

One morning in December of 1990, Gary had gotten his deer the day before but decided to go out to help spot for me. He was standing in sight, about 200 yards up the ridge from me, close to the parked truck. About 9 to 9:20 a.m., Gary came slowly toward my stand on the point. He told me he had seen a large buck come through the open field. It went up to the truck, stopped and checked it out, then disappeared into the ravine. Gary had watched him for about an hour, never seeing him again, so we thought that perhaps he had bedded down for the day. Gary suggested that I move up to where his stand had been and he would go up around the field and try to spook the buck.

Hoping to get a clear shot, I started toward his stand, moving slowly and praying all the way. I asked God to give me a good shot and to take control of the slug (12-gauge gun) and to drop him on the spot. Because of my breathing problem, I would not be able to help Gary drag the deer very far.

Just as I got to the stand, I saw Gary coming through the open field to my position right at the edge of a little strip of woods between two open fields. All at once a big buck appeared. He was headed right toward one of the open fields about 150 yards out. For some unseen reason he turned and headed right at me. I followed him over the gun barrel, waiting until I felt the moment was right. I pulled the trigger and he dropped at the crack of the gun approximately 50 feet from me. I reloaded my pump gun and went to check him out. I had seen the slug hit him just below the left antler. I put another shot into his heart.

I told Gary about my prayer and he told me he also was praying.  He told me as he came down through the open field he asked himself how he could get the deer up without spooking him into going in the opposite direction, so he began to hack a low cough.

Gary then got the truck and brought it to within 75 feet of us.

I praise God. He turned the buck toward me and gave me that open shot that stopped the buck in his tracks.  Of all the deer we have taken in the past, this is the largest. He had a rack of 9 points and weighed in at 176-pounds, field-dressed.

Matthew 18:19 says, "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching, anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven."

John 14:14 says, "If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it." I trust God's promises! He is faithful, try him!

Guy D. Lawson, Columbus, Ohio

Now I don't have a photo of this arsehole from Columbus Ohio, so I shall have to settle for a photo of an arsehole from Boston Massachusetts, depicted here hunting for geese, or was it votes?

Similar: Christian Logic. More Christian Logic. The Hand of God Christian Logic.


Anonymous said...

The cat thing is not my cup of tea, but Patrick Jones’ "will be terrifying children for years to come" sounds a bit hypocritical.

Himself said...

“He will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday,” Jansen said, adding that he hoped the upgrades will allow for a more “steady flight.”


As for the clip, I couldn't get past ten seconds, it was one of the worst cases of Americaese dialect I have ever heard.

What is it with Yank presenters, and it is far from uncommon, that they feel the need to emphasise every other word?

Go back and take a listen.

Anonymous said...

Good evening Himself,

One of the comments:

"This is one of the most disgusting stories and video that I have seen. Horrible."

Referring to the presenter I assume.

Completely out of proportion and so intrusive. I think they feel the need to emphasise every other word to compensate the lack of humour. Hence a big smile in case you don’t understand he is funny.