Not Much of a CV GW

This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and is willing (and hopeful) to relocate.

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:·
I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver'slicense suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

Military:·
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

College:·
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

Past Work Experience:·
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .

Accomplishments

As Governor Of Texas :·
I changed Texas pollution laws to favour power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union .

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.

Accomplishments

As President (with 4 3 5 Notable Firsts):·

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire, ' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfil my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

Records And References:·

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

I never knew one man and one post could warrant so many labels.

No attribution, my apologies.

Dubya Makes A Phone Call.

,
Transcript of President's Call of Support to Un-Resigning, Embattled Family Values Warrior Senator Larry Craig of Idaho

SENATOR LARRY CRAIG: Hello? Hello? I can't hear you.

THE PRESIDENT: Senator Craig? This is the President.

SENATOR CRAIG: Hold on, Mr. President, let me turn down my music.

THE PRESIDENT: What were you listening to, Larry?

SENATOR CRAIG: Oh, Patti Lupone's poignant rendition of "Memories" from Cats. THE PRESIDENT: Uh, yeah.

SENATOR CRAIG: To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call, Mr. President? I have to admit, it is good to hear from you. I'm not getting many phone calls from my colleagues in the Republican Party, much less the President of the United States.

THE PRESIDENT: No need to thank me, Senator. I just thought I'd call you and lend you my support during these trying times. I fully support your decision to un-resign. I'm a believer in loyalty, in fact, the blinder and more myopic the better. I'm also a believer that it is unnecessary to resign a cushy, powerful political position just because you broke a law, admitted your guilt, revealed yourself as a grotesque hypocrite, resigned in disgrace, and a few days later decided to take back your resignation. I mean, you got responsibilities to your campaign contributors! Yours is a flip-flop I can respect.



SENATOR CRAIG: Sir, your character is on full display. You are a man of honor, and a great American.

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you, Senator.

SENATOR CRAIG: How can I despair when a man such as you has my back?

THE PRESIDENT: And here's what those assholes in the press and the Republican sellouts don't seem to get: you've done a service for your country. Why, you've helped prove how disgusting faggotry can be. What a vile, disgusting, deviant lifestyle it is, where grown, married men tap their loafers and wave howdy to other men in public restrooms just for a chance to wash their faces in semen. By perpetuating the worst of homosexuality, you have totally overshadowed the millions and millions of healthy, stable, happy homos who make pretend they are husband and husband, or wife and she-walrus. Bravo.more

Larry Craig What World Are You Living In?

.

I wouldn't be running with this story other than this must be the finest example of a man who has totally lost the plot. It beggars belief that a guy in public office, already having plead guilty to cottaging, is further accused of involvement to varying degrees with eight men and then can come out with statements like this.

For Christ's sake man, stop embarrassing your family, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
When you're in a hole stop digging.

BOISE, Idaho -- Eight men say they either had sex with Sen. Larry Craig or were targets of sexual advances by the Idaho Republican at various times during his political career, a newspaper reported Sunday........

"It is unfortunate that the Idaho Statesman has chosen to continue to lower itself to the standards of what can best be described as tabloid journalism," Craig said in the statement.

"Despite the fact the Idaho Statesman has decided to pursue its own agenda and print these falsehoods without any facts to back them up, I won't let this paper's attempt to malign my name stop me from continuing my work to serve the people of Idaho." more

If he's not certifiable then I don't know who is.

Larry Craig Wide Stance Doll Goes On Sale

.


If Craig had done what any sane person would have done; kept his trap shut and slithered off into obscurity, then fine, but given his performance which is nothing if not an insult to everybody that has a minimum of three brain cells connected, then I guess he deserves the likes of this.

Senator Larry Craig is having a bad year -- In June he was arrested for Lewd Conduct after hitting on an undercover police officer in an airport Men's Room. In September resigned from the Senate, then in October decided NOT to resign. AND NOW HE IS A TALKING DOLL!***

We'd feel sorry for the guy it wasn't so.... to use our favorite word... STUPID!

The Talking Senator Larry Craig Action Figure stands about 12" tall and wears a t-shirt emblazoned with his declaration: "I Am Not Gay." His limbs are bendable, so you can put him in all sorts of poses... even the famous "wide stance" the Senator refers to.more

***Not to be confused with: "I am not a crack ho." Barbie.

Perv's Corner. Who's Who In The GOP

.




If I Ran The Zoo has the compilation.

Craig: I'm Staying

.


This bugger is certifiable, I don't know what his balls are made of but he's got one helluva brass neck on him. Stroll on!

Judge denies Craig motion to revoke plea

Craig vows to serve out Senate term

C&L has a clip.

Courting Danger And The Tearoom Culture: Hitchens

.

So Many Men's Rooms, So Little Time
Why men like Larry Craig continue to court danger in public places.
By Christopher Hitchens

I knew it was all over for Sen. Larry Craig when he appeared with his long-suffering wife to say that he wasn't gay. Such moments are now steppingstones on the way to apology, counseling, and rehab, and a case could be made for cutting out the spousal stage of the ritual altogether. Along with a string of votes to establish "don't ask, don't tell" and to prohibit homosexual marriage, Craig leaves as his political legacy the telling phrase "wide stance," which may or may not join "big tent" and "broad church" as an attempt to make the Republican Party seem more "inclusive" than it really is.more

ACLU Comes Out For Larry Craig

Don't mind the pun, good for ACLU who knows this might shut a few wingnuts up for a minute or two, until they can find an angle to spin about this dangerous anti-American organisation.
Highlights mine. h/t TL

By the way Larry, you're still fucked.

NEW YORK – The American Civil Liberties Union today submitted a friend-of-the-court brief to a Minnesota District Court urging it to allow Senator Larry Craig to withdraw his guilty plea because the secret sting operation used to arrest him was likely unconstitutional.

"The real motive behind secret sting operations like the one that resulted in Senator Craig’s arrest is not to stop people from inappropriate activity. It is to make as many arrests as possible – arrests that sometimes unconstitutionally trap innocent people," said Anthony Romero, Executive Director of the ACLU. "If the police really want to stop people from having sex in public bathrooms, they should put up a sign banning sex in the restroom and send in a uniformed officer to patrol periodically. That works."more

I don't believe this, what a bunch of proper sad bastards, get a fucking life.
Larry Craig toilet 'tourist site'

Larry Craig Stop Please

I could put up with my representative being a whole passel of things but I would draw the line at being represented by a fucking idiot, sit down man, have you never heard of "least said soonest mended?"

Craig Files to Withdraw Guilty Plea

And it would appear one or two more grand old pervs might be getting outed.

In the wake of closeted Sen. Larry Craig’s self-outing in an airport men’s room this summer, Mike Rogers, the Washington-based publisher of blogActive who outed Craig, is threatening to reveal the secret sexual identities of two leading GOP senators, while two allegedly gay Republican congressmen are making headlines and drawing unwelcome attention to themselves, the timing of which could not be worse. more

Tiptoe Through The Tearoom And Other GOP Hits

.
Just How Gay Is The GOP?

Sen. Larry ‘Wide Stance’ Craig, just another in a long daisy chain of happy homoevidence
by Mark Morford

You need no “Da Vinci Code” to tell you of the religious right’s eternal repression of the feminine divine, its deep fear of sex, its eternal fascination with the supple flesh of young males. Hell, show me a vociferous anti-sex fundamentalist of any religious or political bent — be he Muslim, Christian, Jew, Mormon, Republican or other — and I’ll show you a slideshow of his secret nighttime fantasies so kinky and dark it would make Jenna Jameson shudder. And not in a good way........



It’s as if all the pedophilic priests and all the gay evangelists and the hooker-loving, cocaine-snorting family values GOP crusaders really want us to know that there exists no bastion of stiff, sanctimonious “moral” values that is not, at its core, corrupt and messy and wrongheaded as the Taliban at a nudist colony.

more

Where From Here Pastor Ted?

At a guess, divorce, suicide for Ted, and Christ knows what for his kids.

If this isn't a portent of a future tragedy I don't know what is. tedhaggard.com


Halfway house pastor says no to Haggard

Slog's take on Ted: Get a job

Earlier. Haggard's Hypocrisy: The Stranger

Mine previous.

What The F*ck Is The Good Pastor Ted Up To?

Larry Craig, A few Albertos and a Pissed Bog Squad Cop: Audio Tape

It's human nature to lie when you're trying to save your ass but there comes a time when you have to hold your hand up.

Now I don't know if the good Godly people of the gem state are pissed because Craig is gay and has a penchant for seedy sex or they are pissed, as I would be, that Craig is asking them to believe stuff that even a congenital idiot of the Bush blood line would have a problem with.
This is certainly the case with the bog squad cop as Craig tries to convince him that he, the cop, has imagined how the whole thing went down.
Or perhaps what really pissed the cop was Craig throwing a few "Albertos" at him when Craig "couldn't recall."

Time to pull the stumps up Senator, leg before, played on and caught behind normally means you're out.

Eight minute audio of police interview with Craig

Idaho Governor: The Bell Has Rung

Idaho sees red over Craig

Larry Craig. A less Gleeful Observation

.



Talk about sex selling newspapers, it's like stepping into the tabloid gutter doing the blog rounds this morning, one television station even going so far as to give an on air re-enaction as to what goes on when men cruise for bathroom sex. How low class can it get, the TV station that is, not the cruising?

I suppose Craig deserves a fair bit of stick given his voting record n'all but watching the vultures circling impatiently waiting to pick the carcass clean ain't a pretty sight.



At least, not as far as I know, the Devil, Jesus and therapy aren't involved which for myself and my fellow cynics has to be some kind of a relief.



In The Men's Room by Bill C Davis

Senator Craig most likely thought he was invisible - or he didn’t fully exist when he was in the men’s room.


What was he thinking? What did he need? Could he have found someone with whom to share that part of himself in a not any less hypocritical but at least in a more discreet and less dangerous way? more


Update: Glenn Greenwald offers an excellent analysis on all the hypocrisy, not so much Craig's but that of the right wing punditry.

A then and now observation, then being just prior to the 06 elections and now being Larry Craig will you please fuck off and never darken the GOP doorway again.

Larry Craig's bathroom behavior and the right wing -- then and now

The reaction to the Larry Craig story provides one of the most vivid illustrations yet of how the right-wing movement works. Last October, just weeks before the midterm election, gay activist Mike Rogers reported that the married, GOP "family values" Senator repeatedly had sex with anonymous men in public bathrooms. His report was based on "extensive research," including interviews with several men whom Craig solicited for bathroom sex. more

What The F*ck Is The Good Pastor Ted Up To?

I can't get twisted that the other protagonist in this story,Paul Huberty, is on the sex offenders list, after all half the guys in America that have ever taken a piss al fresco are probably on it, but "Tooting Ted" Haggard seems to be sailing a bit close to the wind. (again)
OK is was a bit more than taking a leak, but it was consensual and she was seventeen for Christ's sake.

Just a sideline, the link to the value of his house carries quite a bit of information (worthy of reading) including that his kids are to start a new school, whereas they are probably Jesusy little bleeders and I normally wouldn't bother me arse over them, I have to admit to feeling more than a little sorry for the poor fuckers.
I can't see myself being around in twenty years but it would be interesting to see just how fucked up they end up being. The whole family for that matter.


Ted Haggard, as we learned today on Colorado Confidential, wants you to pay for his and his wife’s living expenses while they go to college—they’re destitute, you see. (Colorado Confidential reports that the Haggards currently own a house in Colorado Springs valued at close to a three quarters of a million dollars.) In an open letter sent to Haggard’s gullible “supporters,” the disgraced preacher gives two addresses where money can be sent.



Checks can be sent to Haggard’s mailing address in Phoenix or, if a supporter needs a tax deduction, checks can be sent to Families With a Mission, a charity based in Colorado Springs. more

Teds Back, On The Tap And Cured Of His Gayness

Another fucker that's been in "therapy" Just as well I'm heading out the gap or I might be tempted to rant.

I'll let Pam's House Blend fill you in on the story.

Imagine away at a caption for the graphic.

Balding Baptist Bonks Black Hooker

It's a scandal and outrageous and I'm not talking about the hypocrisy of the bonking Baptist, I'm talking about the cops actually arresting and charging a guy for buying a bit of pussy.
What a fucked up society. story .

Update: Staying with the Godly man bonks hooker theme, maybe Vitter's forays into fucking might have one or two positive side effects.

Mrs Vitter looks non too happy though with her face like frozen shit, hardly surprising really, but what kind of wanker would drag his wife up on a stage and before the press and talk about bonking hookers?
A putz.



"It sets it back," said Michael Cromartie, vice president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center, when interviewer Susannah Meadows asked him if Vitter's admitted visits to prostitutes would harm the political strength of the evangelical movement. "There are people who are pouring their lives into caring for the sick and the dying. They don’t get the attention. They see this stuff and put their head into their hands." more .

Is This An Omen

I was looking for an image in order to have a play in PaintShop, look what popped up.

New Link